Thirdly, marriage is to have godly children.
For further exploration on this topic, we recommend the following books:
- Parenting by Paul David Tripp
- Childless is Not Less by Vicky Love
- The Secret Life of a Fool by Andrew Palau
“Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union, so guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:15).
Let me translate part of this verse from the Nueva Traducción Viviente, Spanish to English. “From that marriage, he wants children who live for God.”
Let’s take a look at what the Jewish people call Shema (hear). “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).
What the Lord said to Samuel regarding Eli makes me shudder, “I am about to do a shocking thing in Israel. I am going to carry out all my threats against Eli and his family, from beginning to end. I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn’t disciplined them” (1 Samuel 3:11-13).
How about Paul, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
“Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). (In another articles, we will take up the subject of how parents aggravate their children and provoke them to anger.)
“Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise, you will ruin their lives” (Proverbs 19:18).
“Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24).
A few takeaways: Make sure you spend time with your children so they don’t end up resenting your ministry. We always prepared our son for each trip. Also, children pick up the wife’s attitude toward her husband’s work and him in general. You might want to read two articles on the GNE website called: Alone Again by Abigail de Mirón. Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind: Caring for your Family by Jaime Mirón.
One of my wife’s brothers made an interesting comment (actually about his wife and himself). “You don’t see how good a parent you were until you see how your grandchildren are turning out.”
Wait… there is more! Marriage is also for sexual protection (1 Corinthians 7:2-3).
“But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5).
The first three purposes for marriage do not necessarily have anything to do with sin. However, #4 is because of sin. The Bible does not say sexual temptation will leave by just trusting God.
God has given a very practical way to help in the struggle with sexual temptation: sexual relations with one’s wife or husband. It should be both qualitative and quantitative.
“Drink water from your own well—
share your love only with your wife.
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
having sex with just anyone?
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
Never share it with strangers.
18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts satisfy you always.
May you always be captivated by her love” (Proverbs 5:15-19).
I was in the Peruvian jungle speaking at a pastor’s conference. We left Thursday night open for written questions. Something very unusual happened, we received the same question five times. It had to do with a “school of prophets” that was composed of three ladies and two men. According to them, they were so sanctified that they could sleep together without any sexual temptation. The Bible presents a different picture.
One huge takeaway: Do not allow any other person come into your life and take the place of your spouse. Husbands, do not begin to share intimate parts of your life to another woman. Wives, don’t let any man take the place of your husband. Do not begin to share intimate parts of your life with another man.
The Bible says marriage is a covenant.
“She has abandoned her husband and ignores the covenant she made before God” (Proverbs 2:17).
“You cry out, ‘Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?’ I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows” (Malachi 2:14).
We don’t often speak about the importance of keeping vows or covenants. But in the Bible we discover:
- Covenants are for the benefit of the other person.
- Covenants are unconditional promises.
- Covenants are based upon unconditional love (1 Corinthians 13).
- Within a covenant the commitments are permanent.
Take away: No matter what happens in your marriage, you have a promise before God. This is a permanent relationship. Both need to realize this and not act as if it were temporary. Romans 12:18 says this: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As we say in many wedding ceremonies, “for better or for worse.”
Lastly, marriage shows Christ’s relationship with the Church.
“As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (Ephesians 5:31-32).
Ephesians 5:31 is a quotation from Genesis 2:24. Then Paul adds in verse 32: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church (ESV).”
John Piper calls this passage a parable (a simple story used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson). The union of man and woman in marriage is a mystery because it conceals a truth about Christ and the church.
Then Piper calls this a metaphor (figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable). The divine reality hidden in the metaphor of marriage is that God ordained a permanent union between His Son and the church. Human marriage is the earthly image of this divine plan. As God willed for Christ and the church to become one body (Galatians 3:28; 1 Corinthians 12:13), so He willed for marriage to reflect this pattern—that the husband and wife become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
It is no accident that human marriage provides language to explain Christ’s relation to the church (2 Corinthians 11:2). Human marriage is the copy, not the original. Geoffrey Bromiley is right when he says, “As God made man in His own image, so He made earthly marriage in the image of His own eternal marriage with His people” (God and Marriage, p. 43).
What is that telling us? Marriage is very sacred. A mystery is something hidden in the past, and now revealed. What is the mystery mentioned in Ephesians 5:32? The mystery is this; The church is one with Christ, that’s the mystery and that’s the picture of marriage. It is sacred by virtue of its association with the relationship between Christ and His church.
Takeaway: The marriage relationship was meant to be permanent, not disposable.
Let’s review:
- Marriage is good. Think of ways to show to your spouse that marriage is good; to your neighbors; to your relatives; to your friends; to the non-Christians you are witnessing to.
- Marriage is for companionship. If you are not presently opening your heart to your spouse, it is time to do so. Remember she or he cannot read your mind.
- Marriage is to raise godly children. For those of us who have children, I recommend the book Parenting by Paul David Tripp.
- Marriage gives sexual protection. By not having consistent sexual relations with our spouse, Paul clearly says in 1 Corinthians 7:5 we play into the devil’s hands.
- Marriage is a covenant. A covenant is a lifetime commitment.
- Marriage teaches us about Christ’s relationship with the church. I recommend that we take time to reflect on exactly how Christ loved and loves the church and then put them into practice in our marriages.
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